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TRANSCRIPT

Avoiding Burnout | Having It All, Doing It All & Enjoying It All

Iva1:07

Hi and welcome to a new episode of the Mom Bosses Abroad podcast. We are here today with Jamie Villalovos, and she is sharing with us her amazing story on how to be a successful business owner while raising four kids. putting family first and having all that balance within everything that she's doing. So welcome Jamie to our podcast. We're so honored to have you here with us today.

 

Jaime 1:42

Thank you so much. It's my pleasure. I've been looking forward to this all week.

 

Desiree 1:45

So Jamie is a mom of four like Iva just said that she's also a philanthropist and entrepreneur and a business coach. She became a seven-figure earner before the age of 30. while raising her growing family, earning her the nickname of the Balance Queen. Jaime’s passion is helping people reach their dreams while finding true happiness. She is an inspiration to all the women out there who want to pursue their passion and be nurturing mothers at the same time. So her happy and strong mission is to touch 100 billion lives. Through education, philanthropy and leadership development. Jamie, we can't wait to dive in! Tell us about your journey, your background and how you got to where you are and how you became one of the top female earners.

 

Jaime 2:40

Well I grew up in a really tiny town and grew up you know, not very well off, in poverty. Having food stamps welfare, but I was the oldest of six kids in my household. We grew up in a little trailer in a town literally that had only 325 people in it. So very small thinking, no opportunities, no jobs especially you know, for women. And so, growing up I felt a big sense of responsibility to help out my younger siblings and I was kind of another mom in the household. And I knew that there was no money for college, so after high school I moved to a bigger city with the idea of paying my way through school and getting a good job. And so, I started going to school and I started working a corporate job. And after a few years, I got promoted to assistant manager and then manager, just based on work ethic I guess. And so eventually, I had to stop going to school because I was working such long hours. But I had to keep taking those promotions because a lot of my income, I wanted to help my family back home and I wanted to make more money. So after about four and a half years, I hit an income ceiling where you know you couldn't make any more money. I couldn't work any more hours. I was working all the time. But more importantly, what I noticed was two things. One, all my supervisors that have been there longer than I had still had that bad schedule where they couldn't get you know, couldn't spend time with their kids. They were working long hours. I wanted something that I could control my time and put my family first. I was looking for a business. But again, it was only 22 years old at this time. And it didn't have a lot of experience. So I wanted something I could control my time. 

 

But then the other thing was I had stopped learning and growing. I was doing the same thing every single day. You know just get up, go to work, go home, go to bed. And I felt like I wanted something where I could make more of an impact, you know have more meaning to my work. And so, I started looking for things, but again 22, didn't finish college, didn't think there was a lot out there for me. And luckily, I was at the gym one day and one of the spouses of that first firm that I was with, she came into the gym, she had just had her second child, Kayla, her little baby and she wanted to work out and so I was helping her out and kind of showing her around. And she said ‘Oh you're so nice. You're so good. You're so good with people. Have you ever thought of doing something different?’ and of course I had felt, you know, so excited. I you know, this wasn't my opportunity or I had been discovered or something. And so, I said yes, yes. You know, tell me what it is, introduce me to your husband. And I came in and was introduced to a completely new industry that I knew nothing about, company I had never heard of. And I just fell in love because you know, I felt like I was again making a difference now, helping a family, helping families especially just with a market of underserved people that weren't getting the education. It was in the financial industry. And so, I I was able to turn a transition. It took me about a month and a half of learning this new industry. But I quit my job and transitioned and went full time into that business and then eventually started my own firm within that industry and then it's expanded into other companies as well. So, I still have that original company which I love. But Happy and Strong is kind of a big focus that I have right now. Because I feel like you know over the years, I've coached so many people in entrepreneurship or in leadership development, but where I felt I was most passionate was teaching women, moms or even couples that were in business and you know asking these questions like ‘Well, yeah, I'm making more money now but I don't get to spend enough time with my kids.’ ‘Or me and my spouse are fighting now or trying to figure out our roles in the home.’ And I just, I love that type of coaching. You know, when I'm, when I was working with entrepreneurs because I felt like I could bring these tips and tools that you know, tweaking of their schedules, that now they could have more peace in their home or happiness, more bonding with their family. And it was just making a big difference in more meaningful ways.

 

 

Iva 7:47

I love this Jaime what you're sharing because it is a big cornerstone, how the world is starting to shift especially after everything that's been happening in the past two years. I believe a lot of people have, you know, gone into the Big Resignation movement that was happening and are things have come more into the forefront of people realizing and asking: Is this all there is to it? type of realization. And are asking themselves the deeper questions, which is exactly what you're doing_ helping all these families and saying, Is there more to this and how can I make it all happen? This realization and fulfillment from work but also from my family and from having freedom of choosing? And how I focus myself? Is there any specific advice that you for whoever is entering the entrepreneurial world, or has this vision for themselves that they still haven't found yet a way to believe that it is possible? Is there anything that you can share with them as they are navigating into that realm of possibility and they want this for themselves?

 

Jaime 9:06

Of course yeah, I've helped so many people from every walk of life: male and female, moms, all these people be able to transition out of a job that they hate into their own business. And, you know, I have,  one gal that's now a half-million dollar earner. She has four little girls, the oldest is 11, I think, and another guy who was literally going to his dad's house and getting quarters from a jar and rolling them to put gas in his car and now he's a multiple seven-figure earner. So here's the thing, you can do it. If I could do it, they can do it. And I know it's a scary thing, but I can I see all these people like you mentioned this Great Resignation. People want a better quality of life. They are thinking ‘Hey, there has to be more to life than working for 30 years with zero appreciation, with nothing to show for it at the end and again sacrificing what's most important, which is that time with the family.’ So I would first say, figure out what is it that you're passionate about. What are your talents? What are your dreams and goals and get some clarity. If we had a magic wand, what would you be doing with your time and then you know, look at different industries of where you can use those unique talents that you have to, either make a side business or be working from home. And then once you have that clarity, then the most important thing is getting really clearly defined goals. I think so many people say ‘Well, yes, I want a better life’ or ‘Yes, I want to start in this industry.’ And their goal is just to work hard and make money. But, you know, there's a great quote from Mark Twain that says ‘I can help anyone get to wherever they want to anything out of life. I just can't find anyone who knows what they want.’ That's so true because they lack clarity and they just kind of drift through life. So they're working hard, either in a job or for they're on their own, but they're kind of spinning their wheels and they're not progressing as fast as they would like. So this year looks a lot like last year and the year before. Getting that clarity of those goals and dreams. And then for me what was key, was finding a mentor in in this area, someone that is kind of on the same path as you just further down that path right where you want to be and I like to look at my mentors as people, not just that they're successful in business, but they're really where I want to be in life. They have similar values. And ideally, if they have some type of vested interest in your success, that would be even better. Because then they really want you to win. Yes, so yeah, so mentorship is key, I think and transitioning. And then one other little thing I would say for that new entrepreneur is, if you can try to cut out the negatives for at least 18 months. It's your mindset. Your mindset is so key here, and I think a lot of us are surrounded by people that maybe don't believe in what we're trying to do. They're not trying to be haters, but they just are trying to be supportive, and you know, they're not really encouraging, right? And so, if we can cut out or at least limit the negative associations for about 18 months so that you can get in the mindset to attract wealth and believe that you can have these things that you want. That includes social media, you know, and TV and those things like that are negative messages that are not serving our ultimate purpose and goal. And so I'm grateful that when I started social media didn't exist because you know, you know even if you agree with someone, if there is negative rant on social media constantly, it's putting negative messages that are not serving you. So you can unfriend people temporarily and maybe go to even people that could be your family member that you love so dearly, your mom, [say] thanks for what you're trying to do for me. You know, I was trying to win in business to help my mom. But for a short time, I just said you know what, ‘I'm really going for some big goals right now. I'm going to be working very, very hard. And I might not be at everything, you know, just for a few a few months and so I kind of in a nice way put some distance and set some boundaries.’ And then I was able to start feeding my mind. Things that helped me: good books, good podcasts like this one. You know, and just things like that, that were constantly in my mind encouraging my belief in myself and giving me the right tools and tips to help me succeed.

 

Desiree 13:32

I totally agree. And especially when you mention social media, it's the whole comparison game starts coming in as well, right? So it may be positive things that you're surrounding yourself with. But sometimes, you get into that to that negative loop for yourself and I go, I'm not there yet. I can't, I don't have the time or something. So that also doesn't serve you. So you're very good. That's a really good piece of advice to just mute out. These things and these people in that season of your life and you're trying to achieve bigger things. Another thing I feel is when you were talking that have sprung to my mind is that a lot of times we don't know what we want. That's very true. And it's only when we have kids do we realize ‘You know what? This is not for me_ this career is not for me, I want to be more present for my kids I want to be there for my family.’ But often, before we have that, we don't realize it yet. And then we're like ‘How can I possibly leave this little baby? Like, no one can see that right now. I'm holding my little baby in my arms, I'm able to work from home.’ And so, it's the kids that often make that difference in your way of thinking in your course of action. So for you as well, I'm sure it was similar what was one of the most important lessons that you have learned from your own kids. That translates now into your successful entrepreneurship. 

 

Jaime 15:01

Well, I think before you have kids you think you have all the time in the world. Once you actually are breastfeeding, holy cow. Your time is limited and so it made me it made me definitely value my time more. It made me set boundaries for all the time suckers in my life. These people that were constantly asking this and that of me and I had to set boundaries and learn how to say no more often to guard my time and especially as women, we tend to say yes, yes, yes, sharing your vision, be giving and then also to be you know ‘Well if it's gonna get done right, I'll just do it myself’ or ‘I can get it done faster.’ And I learned to delegate more and protect my time. So that was the other thing I learned once I had kids to figure out what my non-negotiables were, you know what I mean? Like our family night that we do once a week or our date nights or our mommy dates or our parent interviews are just all these little non-negotiables that I tend to put into my calendar first. Because as an entrepreneur, there's going to be big goals, big mountains you want to climb and you're gonna get focused on something and then before you know it, you're like three months has gone by and you haven't done a good talk with your teenager or you haven't done a date night with your spouse. And so, you know, these non-negotiables it made me really figure out, you know, what are these most important times that need to be planned into my schedule first? And then once those are all in, I can just go crazy. I can just go you know, pedal to the metal and achieve whatever I want to achieve. And I don't have that mommy guilt that moms struggle with when we're working, we're thinking, you know, am I spending enough time at home and when we're at when we're working at our job we're thinking that but we're at home, we're thinking, Am I neglecting my business or am I as competitive as I used to be? And so you have this constant distraction as a mother, entrepreneur, you know, business person, and that any distraction like that especially with someone, something goes wrong when something goes wrong with one of your kids, man, you can't function really, you know, I mean, and you can't focus. And so that's why those big things are most important, they come in first, and I only learned that really, after having kids before that, It'd be like, whatever urgent things comes up for the day. I'm on it. I'm putting out the fires, I'm growing the business. And then next would come my poor husband, you know, and then last would come me and I wasn't doing the proper self-care I needed to do you know, and so I that caught up to me and it will catch up to all of us, but when the kids came, it's like I'm busy. I'm focused. I have a big goal. I'm working all day I forgot to eat no big deal. But when you have kids, you can't forget to feed. So you know, I learned again to kind of balance from them.

 

Desiree 17:57

Yeah. Yeah, it's true. It's one conversation as well we had. I mean, when I just had the baby. Iva and I were talking and we both have our own businesses, but we also collaborate on a lot of things including this podcast. And she asked me ‘Hey Des, look if you want to, you know, put a break into the podcast for a while. If you want to stop it and we start a new season…? I said ‘No no, no, no. This is one of the things that brings me happiness, it fuels my energy.’ I love working with Iva- like I really draw inspiration from her. So that's definitely one of the first things that went back onto my calendar after I you know, I emerged from having this baby, basically out of the hospital, because that's what's important to me. And you’re right, other things we just have to learn how to prioritize and maybe put a few things onto the backburner for a while until we have that that room again.

 

Iva 18:54

Yeah, and we do have_ and I agree with you, Jamie,_ how we have that instinct as moms we multitask all the time. And we are on top of so many things right? And in our heads. It's like 13 browsers open and for all the things and all the different children and all their different needs. However, at the same time, we are trying to juggle as well as you said, a career or our own business. And so it starts to feel now for our generation, that society still hasn't caught up to this. Like we are still being asked somehow to work like we don't have children and to raise our children like we don't actually work or have you know, business to run on the side. So, we seem to feel that firing off on all cylinders at all times is the way to go which is what you're saying right the self-care comes last, our oxygen mask gets put last, because we're just trying to solve everybody's situation first and foremost. What other struggles have you noticed are the main ones that the you know, entrepreneurs who are trying to or even people that are trying to do their job and also raising a family are struggling with that are the common denominators that you have found from your experience of coaching and working with so many people and families as well.

 

Jaime 20:26

Yeah, well, one of the common was like, ‘how do you do it all?’ You know, I don't have enough time. How do you do all this stuff? And they'll look at me and like they said they're calling me the balance queen or whatever because they'll say ‘okay, you have four kids, your teenager, teenage daughter, you have this philanthropy that you do, you're building orphanages in Uganda, you know all these things.’ And you know, also the stuff that we do in the community and the church and stuff. And they're like, how do you do that? I just don't have the time on my plate. And so again, a lot of times, it's figuring out what the priorities are. Like what you said, we all have these different roles especially as women, we are we're not just mothers and business leaders, we're daughters, or sisters or wives, you know, we're we have all these different roles. And again, when we drop a ball in a role, we get to be looked at differently, I think, than the men. You know, the men aren't being asked like, well, you're gonna go to work but you have kids at home, you know, or when they go through to a business meeting and they're not at home for dinner. They're not getting, you know, we are looked for it, you know, I'm saying yeah, and so you know, that can wear us out. Alright, so all the stuff that's on our plate. So like I said, as an entrepreneur, there's a lot of little things that you can do that will help free you up. And for me if it doesn't, if it doesn't grow my faith, my family, my business, and then my wellness too. You know, those are my four F's. My favorite four F words: faith, family, fitness and finance. You get those four in place, that it's the ultimate fulfillment right, and that you love your life. And so you got to prioritize. But then there's so many things that we if we just had a coach in this area, and this is why I wrote this book, because I saw so many women struggling with this and especially during COVID It just seemed like they fell apart. There were so many that were in their own little form of depression, because they just weren't able to carry the ball on all their roles. And so there's little things like I had. This one lady who was a mom, she was a mom of four and two of her kids were on the spectrum of autistic children. Then she had a husband, she was a nurse during the day but she had this side business she was trying and she loved it. She was passionate about it. She was really trying to get off the ground. She was asking me for advice. She says I have these four kids, two on the spectrum. I'm a nurse, working long hours and then I have a husband that wants me to cook a hot meal every single night.

 

Desiree 22:41

Wow, what do?

 

Jaime 22:43

She was asking, how do you do it all? and I was just going to the practical and like do you have a crock pot? Do you have an instant pot? You know, um, do you have an Alexa or something that we can, you know, shoot off where the groceries are delivered each day? And then do you have a chore chart so that you're following up with kids homework and you know these types of things that are draining you. All these little time wasters that are very important, urgent things throughout the day, that if we dropped the ball on it, we feel like a bad wife or we feel like a bad mom or we feel like stressed out and overwhelmed and anxious. But there's little things that we can put in place and I talked about a lot of that. We have one chapter called juggling and all and another one called put your own oxygen mask on first. So to teach you all these little tools, because if you can, like for me, I don't know about you, but for me, it's like the homework stuff or the little_ you guys have younger kids but you know the little going back into the kids going back and forth, antagonizing each other. Those are the things about my big kids that drain me. And so, I've learned over the years through incredible mentors and women that I've looked up to these amazing mompreneurs but also through trial and error. And you know all these great tools that will help you take the things off your plate that don't need to be there. Set the new boundaries, so that you can say no, very, very easily, but then put little things in place that will streamline your life. It's almost like decluttering every area of stressful situations in your life, decluttering your financial situation. decluttering your home, your office, the little things with the kids like I have four kids. So there's so many activities. There's so many drop offs. There's so many things going on all the time. Sometimes I'll have ballgames on a Saturday morning in three different cities, right? Like how do you do all of this? And so that's probably the big one. How do you do it all and so that's kind of the thing that I like to teach up just practical, learnable doable tips that any mom can do and it will you know, overcome that overwhelm. Yes, that is when it comes up. You're not like ah stressed out.

 

Desiree 25:01

Exactly. You probably see Iva and I kind of like smiling at each other because you're saying so many things that are totally phrases out of our own mouths. You're trying to also teach or like to spread the magic right that we need a little bit as moms such as the self-care but also coaching each other. She constantly reminds me of self-care I was like ‘yes, yes, you're right. You're right.’ You know putting your oxygen mask on first decluttering, prioritizing all of these things. It's just vital in the survival and we need to be happy. It's not just like making everyone else happy. We need to show up strong for our kids for our partners. And yeah, that's why I think like that believed that we needed and

 

Jaime 25:49

You as women and just entrepreneurs in general, we need it and and I mean, I looked, I read all the books, I was seeking out every mentor I could, and there just wasn't these tools anywhere. And I didn't want to write a book but during COVID it just kept going on my heart like I had to do this. It was there were so many people reaching out in tears you know, constantly so, so that's why I did it. But what you're right as far as the self-care, how can you pour into others if you're empty?

 

Iva 26:19

Yeah, absolutely. 

 

Jaime 26:21

So I would take care of everyone in my business. I had like 6000 agents, I was mentoring and coaching and then I had, you know, so all of the problems of the day would come first and then my kids of course, and their needs had to come. And then my poor spouse got like very little of what was left of me and then for me, there was nothing left. And that's how we burn out. And I'll tell you women burn out faster. Women burn out faster, and that's why we still have less in the workforce. You know, and there's still like, you know, less women in the jobs. And that's because like I noticed this thing this stat. This is a crazy stat. But there was this lady who she was a lawyer. She was in her law firm. And her staff, her assistant, asked her would you like me to teach you how to do this and it was like some data entry thing that her staff did. And she just thought that was so odd that her assistant was asking her if she wanted her to teach her how to do her job. So she went to all the other lawyers and she asked all of them has your staff asked you to do this. And every single one of the women, the staff had asked them and a lot of the women were actually doing their assistants’ job and doing that data entry. None of the men had ever been asked to do it by their staff. And most of the men didn't even know that system existed. So, women tend to take on more than they need to take on. They tend to be run over a little bit even by their own staff. You know and they tend to say again, if I'm going to get it done, I'm going to do it myself. And so we do burn out faster and we tend to not know how to say no, to the PTA, to the everything right. And so I have to teach people how to set those boundaries. But, but that self-care has to come first and so I neglected it for a long time. I was not eating well. I was you know running through drive-throughs and between things or just grabbing food or forgetting to eat. I was putting my health and wellness workouts on the back burner. I had never really identified like you said_ the podcast makes you happy. I hadn't really identified other than my work and my family, what were some things that I just that helped me relax that brought me joy. I never really identified that so I wasn't doing that. I if I did something like that I kind of felt like a little bit guilty. Like I should be doing something to grow my family or my business instead of, you know going to a spa or something. So,  I realized because I got sick, it made me sick I actually they told me I had an incurable disease called Lupus is an autoimmune disease. 

 

And the doctor was pretty negative, she said, You know, it's incurable, you're gonna go on this pill for the rest of your life, it'll probably still wear off, eventually you're gonna still have your kidneys be affected by it. And by the way, you can't have kids anymore because of the medication. And it's gonna affect your eyes. And I just thought, ‘You know what, I don't listen to negative people in business and in life and anywhere so I'm not gonna listen to that.’ So instead, I just kind of did what I did with every other area of my life and success and I set a goal and instead of becoming a student of business or leadership or, or wealth accumulation, and now I became a student of my own body, and my own wellness, my own self-care, and for the first time, I started to, again, fill myself first and take care of me first and learn how to you know, eat right and went on regular exercise and do things to distract you know, to relieve the stress toxins in my body and just enjoy my time. And when I did that, it's so surprising because then I was more productive in every other area. You know, I don't think that you can be a good mom. Well, I don't want to put it that way. But you're not going to be as effective as a mom, as present as a mom, if you're burnt out. You're going to be much more short with your spouse, and then as a business person, we have much more brain fog when we're tired. We're overwhelmed. And that brain fog kind of blocks us from getting inspiration and good ideas to take our business to the next level. So if we come first, right, and then we have more of us to pour into our kids, to pour into our spouse, support into a great you know, incredible, inspiring marriage that's world class and then into the people that we have stewardship over. So, to me when I made that shift, I know it's hard because everybody hears it, and they want to do it, and they try to do it, but it's I don't know why that's such a hard thing for people to make that adjustment. 

 

Iva 31:04

Do you feel, Jamie, that it comes from this crazy notion that we have all bought into somehow that there's a badge of honor for being a multitasker, overachiever, hustler? There's this grind, hustle repeat culture where I don't need to sleep. You know, I'm good on two or three hours of sleep and then I'll continue like the whole day. And it's sometimes even applauded or looked at as ‘oh wow, look at that_ that person is indestructible. Invincible. Amazing. What do you think? Do you think that is pervasive?

 

Jaime 31:45

Yeah, I think that's dangerous. I think I've seen out there these women that are trying to be some of them. It's them but some of them it's not that they're trying to be something that they're not. Oh, I'm the boss babe closing deals in heels and all these things. And they're trying to be like men. And they're trying to be this hardcore image. And I just think if that's you, that's wonderful. But if it's not, you don't have to be that you can be the authentic you. People want a leader that's authentic. They want a boss that's authentic, that they love, they want a mentor that's authentic, they want someone that they're going to buy products from to be authentic, and they want it to be like them_ that you they know people are not perfect. No one is, but they want someone that they can trust. And so I think that that can be a dangerous thing. You don't have to be that, you just have to be passionate about what you do. You have to be all in on your purpose and your vision and really believe in what you're doing. But I also believe that the family should come first. Most people have a job. And everything revolves around that: when you go to work, when you can see your kids, how much you make, really the neighborhood you live in, because of your income level. And I just believe that your boss and your job should not come first. The core unit, the most important is the family and that your business is just an extension of who you are and what you believe, what you stand for, and the business should support the family. And again, that’s the ultimate ideal life that you're trying to build with you and your spouse, for your family's future, for your parents, for your kids, for your generations to come. So, so yeah, I think that that can be a part of the problem. But I think it's also just that, as women, we take on more. It's hard for us to say no, and it's hard for us to put things down. We want to, you know, cross everything off the to do list and we're very driven and we can come down hard on ourselves. We're hard on ourselves, when we drop the ball somewhere, you know, even whether that be, you know, I remember one time I went to preschool I think for my daughter, and I got there and it was show and telll day and I had forgot the show and tell and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm so bad. Coming down to myself for this one little stuffed animal. And it's not a big deal. Like she's never gonna remember that. You know, I mean, but it was because I had all this on my plate. And I was too overwhelmed at the time. And when that little thing happened, I made it bigger in my mind than it was

 

Desiree 34:35

That is so true. Because, like a bit of a personal question here as well but you're touching on it right now. It's I have set these standards for myself, this high standards for you know, I like my house to be tidy. I want you know, I like to cook my own meals for the family. I'm taking care of the kids but then I live in Japan I have no help. I'm doing my own school runs. I'm doing all the activity runs. I have to take care of a newborn baby all day. I want to cook, I want to have the house tidy. And oh by the way, I have a business I’m running, but you also need to squeeze in and I'm slowly getting to the realization I can't upkeep that certain standard I am expecting from myself. So what would you say to someone like me to I think it has to do with a big mindset shift. But what advice could you give me?

 

Jaime 35:38

Yeah, so these little things these day-to-day things, that we literally leave dirty dishes on our sink or we're a little late to the meeting. These are little things, okay, if we're focused on where we're going our ideal life, this dream life that we want for our family. If we're focused on where we're going, then we can kind of let some of the little things go in the now. Okay? Instead, if we don't have that, like real clarity of where we're going, guess what happens? All the little problems and all the little urgencies of today is what's in our face. It's what we're focused on. And I'll just tell you, if we're focused on now that's where we stay that's how we plateau. That's how we like progression. That's how this year looks a lot like last year because when we focus on today, we stay in this. We're focused on tomorrow, we gravitate towards it. But how I did I was the same way. I was like a perfectionist, I had to learn you know those little things to  let it go. You know the Frozen soundstrack?

 

Iva 36:35

Like a mantra.

 

Jaime 36:38

Yeah, this is my mantra I had to because, you know, these little things that I would get hung up on like, oh, the house isn't clean or this or that, you know it would bother me so much, but it really doesn't affect my kids being you know, socially well adjusted, you know, it doesn't affect if they're learning better in school, these little things, right. And so I used to be like, ‘come on, get your shoes on. Let's go. We're late. Come on, come on,’ and I'd be rushing and then I feel bad because I was rushing my kids and kind of aloof like me this morning. But inside I now have like it's  better to be a little late and happy than on time and grumpy with my family. You know what I mean? Yeah. Little things go and you don't have to be perfect. It doesn't, you know, it's good enough, not being perfect. And I'd rather have the happy than the perfect and you know, like I said I don't have a nanny or anything like that. But I have had a times you know different people that helped with certain things. Like maybe I have a housekeeper that comes in if you could afford it once a week to do all the deep cleaning. So that the time that you're spending with your family is lower quality time than scrubbing toilets, right? Or, or at work if maybe you have someone that can do the paperwork or the data entry, so that you can be freed up to do the more meaningful stuff working with people and helping people.

 

Iva 38:05

And I love that, Jamie, you've touched upon two things that I want to just rescue and highlight. Like the first one as you said, sometimes we get so hung up on those little things, right? Like oh, that dish that is not, it hasn't been washed, this thing that hasn't been put away like the laundry that I need to  keep up with. And I see it with my clients that sometimes and I'm not saying this is Desiree’s case but I'm just saying that sometimes we feel the need to control a lot of what is outside because we don't have, we don't feel in control on the inside and having that, as you said, that clarity about what the future is about, what my end goal is. Gives you a little bit more of that peace of mind to take a breather and say like, ‘okay, you know what, in the big scheme of things, you know, dirty socks for two more days lying there on the basket is not going to really kill someone.’ But the other thing also about looking for help and asking for help. You know, it's not a sign of vulnerability. It's a sign that you are being mindful about how you're showing up and with whom. So if you're an entrepreneur, but also a mom, you want to be showing up for your kids in the best way possible, like with your energy, the way that they deserve to experience and enjoy it. And if you have clients, don't those clients need also for you to be at your zone of genius? So if you've been scrubbing toilets the whole morning, and you have a client that is showing up in the afternoon or you have to take care of_ are you going to be in your zone of genius and use that energy to help them out or are you not going to be adding much to the conversation and that's also a disservice. So it's, I love how you put it because it really puts into context you know, anchoring points that we can all take home today and say ‘yeah, you're right. In the big scheme of things, what is it that is counting but also responsible because we all are responsible human beings, we want to be, you know, the best that we can at what we do and so are we showing up the way that we need to in our business. If our energy is being depleted in those little things that maybe someone else can help us with or we can put up with scrubbing toilets. 

 

But Jamie, we're so happy to have you here with us today, the launch of this amazing book that you've been sharing a little bit about Happy And Strong, right. It's your book debut. And you shared already that you wrote it because you felt the need that there's a lot of us after COVID You know, feeling that we just need more clarity on how to go about it, but what do you hope most for the people who read the book. And this is, you know, your platform to really share the message and invite them to check it out and purchase it.

 

Jaime 41:13

I appreciate that. So this book is is kind of a small piece of a bigger vision that I have. I have a business plan right now that goes 100 years past when I pass away. So we're putting a lot of things in place: more legacy goals, philanthropy goals, but I have a goal of touching 100 million lives in that could be either to the educational stuff that my team does through helping families understand their financial needs and getting out of debt. But it also really is helping them either to the plant the work, you know, and those is all that stuff ripples out. And if I teach one family then it changes it for their generations. But it's also just helping them to have more peace of mind, a better quality of life. hope for a better future. How to create that better future, how to create their dream life, the vision for it so that they can go out on their own and start a business. So the first half of the book is really how to be successful in business, how to create if they want like myself a seven figure multiple seven figure income, or if they want to scale that back. That's okay too, but it's teaching them how to do that. Then in the middle of the book, it teaches you how to become a leader, which will affect your community. It'll affect your family, but it will also free you up from your business so that you can have more lifestyle and have your business run without you. And then the second half of the book is what everybody wants. That's the lifestyle that you know that how do I juggle it all? And I'm very much a big student of the science of happiness. So how do you inject that happiness into your home? The bonding and again be able to do it in simple ways. So that you are you know, having that overwhelm constantly so for me my biggest goal with the book is really to help men and women entrepreneurs that could be working moms, to have, you know, to be able to create their dream life just to absolutely love and adore their life. And to have again, faith, family and these priorities be able to come first to be able to juggle it all in a healthy way and be able to hopefully, I'd like to spark the little fire hopefully of service philanthropy so that you're also taking what you're learning and using it to benefit others.

 

Iva 43:30

I love this and it's such an inspiring message. Jamie, thank you so much for sharing this with us. We know that you also are so generous. You're you have an amazing freebie for listeners. We'd like to tell us a little bit what that is.

 

Jaime 43:46

Yes, I gave so I gave there. It's like my 50 Favorite Date Night And Family Night Ideas. To me, I think one of my biggest non negotiables is our weekly family night. It's a way to just connect. It's a way we have a family council where we talk, where communication comes in of all those things on the schedule and no one can attend all of the stuff for all the kids but we have kind of mastered as a family this communication, but it's also a way to monitor week to week attitudes and especially when you have teenagers it's very good. But I put in my family night ideas but they can also connect with me on happyandstrong.com and they can ask me any questions through email there and if they do buy the book through Amazon, it's 10% off right now because it actually went number one new release in work-life balance. So they can buy it. Yeah, they can buy it anywhere books are sold but on Amazon right now it's 10% off and if they buy it on Amazon, then they get the discount.

 

Iva 44:51

Congratulations. Yes, we love, we love what you're doing. We really feel so inspired. And it's unfortunate that we don't have more time to you know, to go deeper into all the other questions that we have. But we really want to thank you Jamie, so much for chatting with us today. And as Jamie said, if you want to connect with her, we're going to put the links in our show notes, to her website happyandstrong.com, her Facebook page, Instagram @jaimevillalovos and also you can follow her on LinkedIn. So thank you so much, Jamie. We really appreciate it and we feel so inspired by everything that you're doing.

 

Jaime 45:25

Awesome. Thank you so much for having me. 

 

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RESOURCES

This has been such an incredible podcasting journey! It's been our most favorite way to get our conversations out there and meet fantabulous Mom Bosses along the way. 

We taught ourselves, but definitely had some help along the way! Now, we are ready to level up for Season 2, thanks to the amazing Pineapple Podcasting Academy! A 6 week course, that was game changing on every single level!

Have you ever wanted to start a podcast? Do it - it's the best thing ever. Watch the FREE Podcast Workshop by going to https://www.momergyessentials.com/ppworkshop or dive straight into the Academy https://www.momergyessentials.com/ppacademy

FEATURED GUEST

Jaime Villalovos

Jaime Villalovos is a mom of four, a philanthropist, entrepreneur, and business coach. She became a seven-figure earner before the age of 30 while raising her growing family, earning her the nickname of “the balance queen.” Jaime’s passion is helping people reach their dreams while finding true happiness. She’s an inspiration to women who want to pursue their passion and be nurturing mothers. Her Happy & Strong mission is to touch 100 million lives through education, philanthropy, and leadership development.

Website www.happyandstrong.com

IG @jaime.villalovos

FB https://www.facebook.com/happyandstrongjaimev 

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaime-villalovos-6982b773/

FREEBIE

50 Date Night Ideas and Family Night Ideas 

https://happyandstrongjv.ac-page.com/happy-and-strong-book-community?test=true