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TRANSCRIPT

The Big Reveal - How Soon is Too Soon?

Perfectionism Vs. Evolving Your Business

0:41

Iva: Welcome to a new episode of The Mompreneur’s Guide to Work-Life Harmony. My name is Iva, 

 

0:47

Desiree: and I'm Desiree, 

 

0:48

Iva: and we are two moms trying to build a business from home, while raising little ones. In the last episode we spoke about perfectionism, figuring out when it's time to let go, time to press send and time to lock in whatever you're working on, fully embracing the motto of “Done is better than perfect”. 

 

1:11

Desiree: Yes, so my prime example recently was the whole topic of publishing my website, there were a million things I still wanted to do with it. I wanted to add and to tweak and to create. But I realized that, it'll just never be done because just like me and my business it's evolving. But the longer I hesitate on publishing the longer I'm going to withhold my message and the content that's already there for someone who may need it. And I definitely got that courage of moving forward and creating my personal brand and transforming it into an online business, and pressing all of those published buttons from my business coach and mentor. 

2:54

Iva: To what you said about your website and fighting that urge to tweak it and reformat it in a more perfect way, if it can be said that way, you know, more perfect way than it is, because I've seen it and it's amazing. It's that element of thinking that it is permanent, that it is this permanent reflection of us, and it isn't. We can always go back, we can always change it. Whenever you feel like this, Desiree, you can go back to your website and change that image for anyone that you felt that you said, “Well, now's the time for me to, to switch it up”. So, it’s not a permanent thing, and we sometimes feel that what we do, in our job as mompreneurs, it is going to stay that way forever and it's going to signal that mistake, as you say that it's also in our head that we're the only ones that notice it. 

 

Nobody, nobody has even detected it, and that somehow it's going to be a reflection of our character, or our shortcomings or our flaws. And it's that mindset of pushing forward despite feeling that way and thinking that it is, it is going to be a permanent mark. So it isn't. Everything can be changed, everything can be fixed, everything can be upgraded, everything can be modified and we, as you said, we're always evolving as human beings and we're so many versions of ourselves, the pictures and drawings that we did when we were in second grade, are not the ones that we're doing now at this stage in our life. And nobody's holding us accountable for that, because we all understand that we have different stages in our lives. 

 

5:03

Desiree: Yeah. Do you think there's, there's a point, though, where you can maybe reveal something a bit too early?

 

5:17

Iva: Oh yes, absolutely. I think that there's, there's a, we should find, and we should all learn to find the harmony in knowing the difference when something is done. Yes, it can be done better, maybe, yes, it could be. It could have this add on or it could be modified this other way, but for the most part, in the big scheme of things, isn't going to make that big of a difference? And we need to make a big distinction between asking ourselves that question and coming to that moment in time, with regards to whatever it is that we're working on, versus the infancy stage of an idea that you have, or a project that you're working on, that you don’t want to disclose it too soon, because maybe people around you with the best intentions in their hearts, might say something at a moment in which you can be very easily discouraged to pursue it. 

 

6:29

Desiree: Because it's a moment we're still very vulnerable because we're just finding our voice, we're finding our own way and our direction, and I personally I feel so vulnerable. And I also get very defensive because it's like inside I'm quite proud of what I may be doing or excited about something a bit, and like you said, someone might come around with their best intention, right but not what you want to hear at that moment 

 

7:00

Iva: When you're, when you're choosing your baby names. You actually felt the one that you think it's the right one. And it might be, I don't know, this was my situation, we didn't really share the name until our children were born, precisely because of that, because everybody has an opinion on a name, and still conceptual, meaning that the baby's still not there yet in the outside world. People with the best intentions, again, they can say something about it. And you really are not in that headspace, or emotionally, you are very vulnerable, and you, it does something to you to hear those comments because you were not probably prepared to share it. And now, when the baby is already out, the baby's born, everybody's coming to see the baby, and you disclose the name, then for the most part I think people don't have a choice.

 

8:09

Desiree: Exactly. 

 

8:11

Iva: I think a similar thing happens in certain situations and we need to really go inside and be very truthful with ourselves about which one of the two is it. is it just me playing head games again with myself about something that, for the most part, can survive out in the outside world? And just, just be just like that, it's good enough, versus the still a very conceptual, in its infancy, sort of stage in which you need to nurture it and close to your heart, and, and not really disclose a lot because you are still not in that emotional strength of receiving feedback, maybe from, from people. And I guess added to this is also knowing who is it for, especially as a mompreneur we also need to be very aware of whose opinions, we are going to take into consideration, and which ones we need to just let slide, right? Because it happens to me and I don't know if it happens to you, sometimes I run something pass my husband, and he just completely misses it. Like, what? What is that? He doesn’t get it.

 

And then I go back and I say, Oh, I made a mistake of sharing it with him because he's not clearly the person that I was intending my idea for. So, yeah, so I guess there's also an element of knowing who you can share it with or who is the person to be your cheerleader, part of your tribe that is going to give you more wings to step into that direction.

 

10:05

Desiree: I know...

 

10:07

Iva: And not the person that is holding the stop sign, with all the questions and the critical examination.

 

10:11

Desiree: You are so right and again they have our best intentions for us in their heart, right? They want to help us they also want to watch us succeed but, yeah but they also may not express it the way we want it, and it is a vulnerable stage and I think here again it's a situation where we need to make a clear distinction. Are we seeking an opinion in forms of sort of a market research or a poll or something we need to gather and collect in order to make whatever we're creating stronger? Or are we simply seeking an opinion: okay what do you think about it? There are two different things. 

 

And, and, again, you're, you're so right. We need to know who we're going to ask, I have also stopped asking my husband's, for my husband (we have only one husband) I have also stopped asking for his opinion [giggles] I should add that to my intro. Let me rephrase that again. I have also stopped asking my husband about his opinion because, it's true. He is not in the same headspace, he is not my target audience, I'm probably asking him about something I want to put out there for other fellow moms, moms with little ones, or mompreneurs or both, and he is none of them. None of those three. So, yes and I again, I felt so grateful I know you've I've run past, things past you, that were completely unrelated to anything we're doing together but I really wanted your opinion because I know you get me. We're so on the same wavelength that I know. Hold on let me run this past Iva, if she thinks it's a good idea, then it's a good idea, you know a little bit of a validation aspect as well. I think that we need.

 

12:08

Iva: You need to have, and surround yourself, with a particular group of cheerleaders, people that are not necessarily going to cheer you on walking into an abyss, if it's a really, really bad idea, but obviously

 

12:26

Desiree: Correct, 

 

12:28

Iva: I guess we are all adults and we can all discern who is going to empower us in the right way, and who is just going to yes, for the sake of saying yes, but not really understanding what we're all about. But I think for the most part, in the same scenario, if you have people that you trust, whose opinions matter greatly to you because they have proven to be individuals that have a great capacity for being objective, and for providing that empathy towards what you're doing and encouragement and support, then by all means, seek them out, because maybe your closest friends or loved ones, might not be the right person to, at the moment, to run that idea by, and to get an opinion from. So that is a good tip that I can offer is find yourself, your, your cheerleaders, that are going to empower you and support you. And also, before doing that, of course, ask yourself, in what situation you're in. Is this a, am I just being very very picky and perfectionist about it? Or is this really something that I need to continue holding very close to me, because it's still not ready yet to be revealed?

 

13:58

Desiree: Exactly, exactly. And I'm so happy that I found my person that, that I’ve definitely found my cheerleader in you, and I'm really grateful for that. 

 

14:08

Iva: And I think the same here. And I guess, unfortunately, you can’t. This is, this is audio so you cannot see it, but really, my face lights up when I listen to your messages or, or when you're, you know, you’re writing something to me about a specific question that I have regarding something that I'm working on, because it is providing that energy. And it is so great to have somebody in your life that gives you that supercharged energy to move forward with the confidence of knowing that, yes, it is possible or Yes, it sounds like, like a very daring idea but it's great so go for it. 

 

14:56

Desiree: Yeah, we need a tribe like that too, that have our backs as well, that that support us, that that give us honest feedback, and that have our backs, no matter what. So,

 

15:10

Iva: And that also makes us, ditch the perfectionism 

 

15:13

Desiree: Exactly, exactly. So it's all about finding, yeah, it's all about confidence and finding the right people to have on this journey with you. 

 

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Desiree Bonau - Oily Essentials

 

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