Taking the Driver's Seat & Sharing Your Gifts with the World!
Iva: Hi everyone, and welcome to our first podcast episode of The Mompreneur’s Guide to Work-Life Harmony. I'm Iva.
Desiree: and I'm Desiree, and we're so excited to be here, we're finally doing this Iva!
Iva: Yes we are! we have hit record, to provide all of you that are listening to us, you know value, and advice and everything in between.
Desiree: And a lot of people must probably ask, you know, whenever a new podcast is launched is, why a podcast? Why choosing that format? And when we spoke about it too, is like, how would we answer that question? And remember we were both laughing because we've jokingly said for a long time: Oh man, we should just hit record at our conversations, whenever we would be on the phone with one another. It's funny, isn't it? That, like as moms, we probably give better advice to our girlfriends, than we would be able to advise ourselves in that situation, which is why I felt so blessed to just have you on that other side. I mean, we were at that point in different countries, going through really turbulent times… right?... in our own in our own ways, and seriously, these …and we didn't even talk live on the phone for sometimes it was seriously just long voice messages back and forth, but I was so happy I had them, I was,
Iva: I do too.
Iva: I do too, because it was very, it was, I mean, at the end of the day, two busy moms, dealing with their day to day it's very hard to find that space of calm and quiet, to really have those long deep conversations that we like to have with our girlfriends, when we get together so, sending voice messages is the one alternative that we came up with, because we knew that probably we had conflicting nap times so when one of us was available, the other one wasn't. And a voice message was the best way to make sure that either one of us could listen to it when we, when we had that pocket of time, and availability.
Desiree: exactly! And I knew when you, when my little one would be then, all of a sudden, in the way or noisy I can just hit pause and just re-listen to it later on and it was, it was just the perfect, perfect solution to sort of what we're going through, and we were even on different continents and the time difference definitely played a role. But so many times I was just thinking like, Oh man, that is so,… I need to write this down! I need to write this down! this is so valuable advice, and we said it so many times until we both said, Okay, I think maybe we should either write it down or because we both love talking I guess as you will soon notice that we that's why we should just hit record on our conversations, so there we go, here we are.
Iva: Yes, so this podcast pretty much was, was born out very organically from two fellow moms that share a couple of things in common. So, Des, you and I, we, have two little ones, right, and we're also mompreneurs, and we are both, you know, living abroad, away from our countries of origin, and wanting to share what our story has been, what our experience has been trying to do it all while raising a family, while building a business and being away from family and loved ones. And just also trying to connect with ourselves, in a way that we can accomplish our dreams and goals. At the same time that we're trying to do everything else.
Desiree: exactly. This is such sort of vulnerable times in our lives, right? when we have two kids, I mean, I mean when we have little kids, Iva, you have two, two, under five right now. I have a little three year old so sort of sharing that kind of age range as well. And it's a difficult time, I mean we go through things we haven't gone through before in our lives. That alone needs I think moms need support and maybe advices that they can ask, but we're also we're seeing ourselves in different countries. Having a hotelier husband that is at work a lot, and raising a three-year old. Everything that happens is a first for me as well. And when you're fairly new, you still don't have so many friends around you, you're still finding your way, you're making connections, but they may not immediately turn into this confidential level just yet, so, having these friendships, these, these, like these connections and this existing tribe has been everything for me.
Iva: I wanted to share this beautiful quote that I, I read, and it's, it's from Jessica Alba, I think everybody knows who she is. She's a famous American actress. And she said, “Being a woman in business doesn't come without challenges. My advice? Surround yourself with other supportive women that encourage you, share ideas, and get you motivated”
Desiree: I love that quote,
Iva: that is really the embodiment of, of what we want to do with this podcast, what is it that we want to share with all of you. And, and Des, agree with me on this one. Being a mompreneur. How does that fit within your life within everything that that you're trying to balance and get going within your day to day,
Desiree: I mean, we would think like what we're going through is already enough right? navigating kind of our life in a, in a foreign country, but I think being a mompreneur was definitely a choice, a passion, and something that is now just so much part of it I cannot imagine just not being a mompreneur like an entrepreneur, really trying to grow her own business, it's so much become a part of my life. So, I guess that the reason that I wanted to, to do something other than being a mom is a full-time job and that is already enough, right? But I think there comes an aspect of having worked, I've been working all my life, I'm used to, you know, running teams making decisions all day strategizing and all of that. And when, but, I, we also really wanted to families, we knew we had that decision to make also being expatriates and moving around all the time it just wasn't possible to do that with two careers going at the same time so as it does usually happen, one person does need to make a choice and say okay, I'm gonna stop working, and move with you and travel with you and a lot of people find absolute happiness in that and they're there for their partner as a support which is also super important.
Iva: It's a very, it's a very important way to support, the family vision, and the family plan, to make that decision to say: I will take a step back, and make sure that the other spouse or partner has somebody holding down the fort, as they say.
Iva: So kudos to that, there's, there's a lot of sacrifice that it entails but it's also amazing that it's being a team player of sorts and in saying: Well, okay, you know, maybe my role is not the protagonist. It's a bit more behind the scenes, but it does not take away the importance that it deserves. Without it, the other spouse wouldn't be able to really focus and do what they need to do, so kudos to all the moms, spouses, partners that are taking sort of the backseat but not really because without, without what they're doing in the backseat whoever is driving the car wouldn't be able to be driving the car. And if you have kids, you know what that is like. If you don't have someone passing on the snacks and wiping the spills in the backseat. You crash. You won't get very far.
Desiree: And also don't forget that behind every successful man is a very successful and powerful woman right? and the one in a very crucial, supporting role. So, yeah, I guess I did that for a year I suppose I was there, we were living in China, which was also that location at that point was also quite challenging for us, and I was there and I was the supporting role and while he was opening a hotel at that time and had his own big challenges. I was navigating the supermarket aisles with my phone trying to read what I was going to buy with the, with the app righ? so it was very interesting, but also, So I really enjoyed that kind of that time. But I very very soon realized that something was missing. I didn't have kids back then, but I knew something was missing. I needed to engage my brain in a different way. It just wasn't enough. While I enjoyed sort of kicking back for a while as well, because you do have that time, I knew I needed to do something else.
I was celebrating my husband's successes, I was talking about his work when he came home. But you know what to be really honest? I want to just start celebrating my own successes. I wanted someone to say, Well done to you too, you know? once in a while because we were so used well, it's, it's,
Iva: yes. And that's the, that's the thing about motherhood. It's just one, as much as it is, such an all-encompassing and powerful role. It's only one aspect of who we are as women, it's just one of the many aspects that make us who we are. So, we are also friends, we are also daughters, we're also spouses, wives, and having, as you say, our own successes, owning our own projects, and going after our own dreams is also part of the whole equation that makes us feel fulfilled and alive, and with purpose. So, I can imagine that for you, mompreneurship was, was the right solution.
Iva: given the circumstances of your husband being relocated and it allowed your family the flexibility to say, well maybe I take the “backseat”, quote-unquote, but it allows me the space to explore something that is probably not so rigid as a corporate job as such. But nonetheless, it can give me that joy and satisfaction of knowing that, besides the diapers, besides navigating the supermarket aisles with your google translator on, you were also building something that only had your name on it,
Desiree: it's a business that in the end, I can do from anywhere because at any point in time, the company could again say “Okay, time to move on to the next country”. And there we go, and I can just take it with me wherever I actually also bought a laptop that could fit in my diaper bag that's how mobile I wanted to be with my business, I’m not kidding!
The guy in the store is like “what do you want?” and I was like “whatever fits in this diaper bag”, so. But another really important thing and I don't know how you felt about that but for me it was a little bit of an independence, like a feeling of independence, and I mean this is entirely just in my head, but I wanted to be financially independent. To be honest, you know, we're like, of course, we share we share everything. But I wanted to know for myself that I can also go if I see a pair of shoes, I can go buy that pair of shoes and I don't have to feel guilty about it or you know or that or the feeling
Iva: It's not having doubts about your current relationship, or the state of your marriage. But it psychologically empowers you to, to say to yourself that you are showing up in your life, voluntarily, that there's no strings attached, in the way of financial dependence in which you
Desiree: I love how you say,
Iva: and reaching out, you say, oh my god I have to put up with so many things because I don't have any other choice so, so, at the end of the day, mompreneurship, or, you know, the ability to do work that you like and to have that financial aspect coming in. I think it empowers everybody not just women, but just everybody but in our case more so when we don't have a lot of other choices, given the circumstances of moving around or the time or that, or for example in my, in my situation, sometimes the country that you arrived into, you know, doesn't give you the necessary documentation for you to be able to get a, an office job. So, so you have to work around it and you have to say, Well, what now?, right. So mompreneurship, it's, it's something that, either you have it, because you have this passion for it, or you sort of stumble into it because you come from, a previous corporate career. And as we said, you, you want to continue fulfilling this aspect of yourself of who you are, besides being a mom, and besides being someone's partner, and, and besides any other label like who you are standing on your own two feet. So
Desiree: that's right
Iva: so yes, mompreneurship is not easy, you know, it's like parenting. Do you feel they're not the same? They're hard. They're hard! I mean, it's not easy to be a mompreneur it's not easy to be a parent. Because,
Desiree: and you're figuring it out along the way as well. There's no set, like rulebook for it there.
Iva: Parenting is like, 10 times harder than what everybody, it could have, you know, tried to explain to you before becoming a parent that what was going to be like, so there's no real way to prepare for it, and they're like children it, you know, it requires of you constantly in the middle of the night when, when you're tired and you don't want to be waking up from your sleep but your child is calling for you. You get up and you show up, right? and that's what you do, you don't. You don't start arguing with yourself about whether you have to get up or not, you know that you have to do it. And you just show up. And the same thing, I feel, is very similar across the board with, with all entrepreneurs. Is that your passion, your dream, your goal is calling you and you have to show up,
Desiree: Of our own choices.
Iva: Oh yes,
Desiree: Out of our decision to have kids, it's our responsibility of raising someone and same with our business, it is our responsibility if we don't show up, we're the ones that are suffering by ourselves, but we don't owe it to anyone but ourselves. So it's, it's like a gives that gives you that it gives me, I know for me definitely that's the case, this powerful motivation to really show up to do my best and and you know, if I have days where I can't do my best and then so be it. That's, that's okay. No one's gonna scold me for it but that, then I don't know. Do you feel like that too?
Iva: Yes, yes I do. And I would add to that as well I would say that we all as human beings, we all have gifts to give to the world, we are all born with innate gifts that we are responsible to share with the rest of the world, and, and it is a gift because we are so unique, there's not going to be ever again another one of you or another one of me or another one of anyone for that matter. We are so unique. That's why fingerprints are one of a kind, and so are our gifts. So, as a mompreneur, if you are on the fence, if you are a bit lukewarm, if you think that your circumstances are still not there yet, to jump fully in, but you have this desire but it's still taking a little bit of the backseat because maybe I don't know, you're waiting for the right moment, you're waiting for the right situation or circumstances to happen. I would like you to know that you're not alone. Everybody has felt that that doubt and insecurity of, of taking that leap, but do know that nobody has the gifts that you have to offer the world. And it is a disservice not to show up and share them. And even if you think that what you have to offer has been done before, everything has been done before, everything has been done before! Nobody is reinventing the wheel, nowadays. Nobody, but here's the catch. Nobody has done it the way that only you can do it, so
Desiree: Beautifully said
Iva: So, if you only take one thing today is, again, and we can use the example of our podcast. Why? Why another podcast? There's so many podcasts out there. Well, because nobody has done a Des and Iva podcast.
Desiree: Yeah, our stories are different. My story is different. Iva’s story is different.
Iva: And that tribe that finds us, is going to resonate with that. And that is a gift that we have to give and that should help everyone who has that fear of thinking that it has to be something that is so unique and unbelievably original… No, it is going to be unique and unbelievably original because it is coming from you, nobody can do you!
Desiree: Especially mompreneurship can be very lonely because you feel overwhelmed, I mean how many times have we felt so overwhelmed in our day? Do you remember those voice messages late at night, Iva? so overwhelmed but honestly just getting it out, then having that response back, you're like okay, back up on my feet, and that's totally fine, so it's it's that's, that's why we also think this tribe is important, this platform also we're gonna share like whole like we've dedicated a whole episode on like, how do we how in the world do we manage our time because there's like there seems to be no time that's, that's a reason why a lot of moms say no, I'm not gonna do anything I don't have the time. Yeah, well we don't have the time, either, but we you make time for what you're passionate for you will find the time it's not always easy but it's possible and you're gonna be so damn proud of yourself. Afterwards, it's so worth it.
Iva: You're going to be, you're going to be feeling so energized as well as you're going to tap into your real passion. You're going to tap into, into your passion, into your gifts, you're going to tap into a new way of seeing the world in which you're flowing, you're flowing with it, and we're not saying that you're not going to have any more rough days or days where things don't go as expected because it still happens to the two of us, but you're going to find support, you're going to find encouragement, you're going to find inspiration, and, and most important of all, you're going to find friendship.
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